The Worst Tech Support Session Ever [aka The Bastard Operator from Hell (BOFH) gives Tech Support or The Ugly Side of MrX, now also The Longest Topic]

[MrX]

Allow me to begin with a dream about Uniform Server (and Olajide):

[07:55:33] (MrX) OMG

[07:55:44] (MrX) This has got to be the worst dream I've ever had

[07:55:59] (MrX) I dreams taht Olajide registered #bots and spammed it everywhere

[07:56:18] (MrX) and he managed to get about 100+ people to join

[07:56:30] (MrX) LOL

[07:57:39] (MrX) dreamt that*

[07:58:07] (MrX) lol

[07:58:13] (MrX) What the hell was I thinking :|

[08:00:31] (MrX) I was going to ask him for a +o or +v and then I woke up

[08:00:33] (MrX) lol

[08:36:35] [@AlleyKat] loool

[08:37:03] (MrX) and I also had a book

[08:37:09] (MrX) which had an article about IRC

[08:37:12] (MrX) it mentioned Freenode

[08:38:41] (MrX) Well

[08:38:52] (MrX) Another dream to add to my collection of IRC and Uniform Server related dreams

[08:41:08] [@AlleyKat] hehe

[08:41:10] [@AlleyKat] weird

[08:41:21] * AlleyKat just got a new(er) Boulder DAsh game

[08:41:34] (MrX) I had one a few months ago

[08:41:39] (MrX) about the Uniform Server wiki

[08:41:40] (MrX) lol

---

Once upon a time, there was a user, who had some problems and his name was OfteN:

[08:47:44] »» joins Guest3 (i=LiveIRCS@blk-222-160-30.eastlink.ca)

[08:47:51] [Guest3] hey

[08:48:03] [Guest3] or not...?

[08:48:10] (MrX) Hi

[08:48:22] [Guest3] oh man

[08:48:24] [Guest3] i need help >

[08:48:48] [Guest3] i have NO idea how to use this uniserver

[08:49:10] (MrX) Did you download it?

[08:49:14] »» nick change [ Guest3 » OfteN ]

[08:49:20] [OfteN] yea

[08:49:21] [OfteN] i did

[08:49:30] [OfteN] i "started" it

[08:49:34] (MrX) Ok

[08:49:39] [OfteN] just supposed to be a little dos app right?

[08:49:52] (MrX) Yes, that's what you see

[08:50:14] [OfteN] yes but how can i check if its working?

 

MrX, who was pissed off by all those Skype problems, decided to ask him about it first...

[08:50:23] (MrX) Do you run Skype?

[08:50:52] [OfteN] skype?

[08:51:08] (MrX) Ok, guess not

[08:51:14] [OfteN] lmao

...but it was not Skype and therefore MrX went on to the other boring questions:

[08:51:15] (MrX) What OS are you using?

[08:51:20] [OfteN] might be the problem

[08:51:23] [OfteN] XP Pro

[08:51:55] »» quits OfteN (i=LiveIRCS@blk-222-160-30.eastlink.ca) (Client Quit )

[08:51:59] (MrX) :|

[08:52:04] »» joins Guest6 (i=LiveIRCS@blk-222-160-30.eastlink.ca) (joined before as OfteN)

[08:52:08] (MrX) Wb

[08:52:08] »» nick change [ Guest6 » OfteN ]

[08:52:16] [OfteN] lol

[08:52:18] (MrX) Try to access http://localhost/a/ with your browser

[08:52:20] [OfteN] sry bout that

[08:52:45] (MrX) If you don't get an error, it should be working properly

[08:53:04] [OfteN] i do

[08:53:09] [OfteN] connection was refused

[08:53:28] (MrX) Do you get any kind of error when you start Uniform Server?

[08:53:35] [OfteN] nope

[08:53:45] [OfteN] like popup error?

[08:53:56] [OfteN] because it closes aufly fast

[08:54:05] [OfteN] when i press the "any" button

[08:54:13] (MrX) :s

[08:54:58] [OfteN] ?

[08:55:36] (MrX) Can you start it again and see if it errors?

[08:55:53] [OfteN] yea

[08:55:54] [OfteN] hold on

[09:01:38] [OfteN] ok i started it

[09:01:51] [OfteN] still refused

[09:02:12] (MrX) Do you have a W:\

[09:02:39] [OfteN] huh?

[09:02:42] [OfteN] whats that?

[09:02:46] [OfteN] a w:/ drive?

[09:03:53] (MrX) Yes

[09:03:59] [OfteN] nope i dont

[09:04:50] [OfteN] how do i get that?

[09:05:44] (MrX) If Uniform Server starts properly

[09:05:46] (MrX) You'll get it

[09:06:19] [OfteN] hm

[09:06:19] [OfteN] then i guess it didnt

[09:06:19] [OfteN] what file am i supposed to use to start it exatly?

[09:06:39] »» quits OfteN (i=LiveIRCS@blk-222-160-30.eastlink.ca) ( )

[MrX]

Now, MrX was more impatient (and foolish) than any one in #uniserver...

[09:06:41] (MrX) Do you have another Web Server (HTTPd) like IIS or Apache running?

[09:06:46] (MrX) :|

[09:06:56] »» joins Guest9 (i=LiveIRCS@blk-222-160-30.eastlink.ca) (joined before as OfteN)

[09:07:00] »» nick change [ Guest9 » OfteN ]

[09:07:04] [OfteN] :/

[09:07:11] [OfteN] i hat ewhen it does that

[09:07:36] (MrX) Do you have another Web Server (HTTPd) like IIS or Apache running?

[09:07:51] [OfteN] BPFTP

[09:08:15] [OfteN] bullet proff

[09:08:15] [OfteN] roof*

[09:08:33] [OfteN] does that count?

[09:08:42] (MrX) No

[09:08:47] [OfteN] because if it doesnt then i dont

[09:08:48] [OfteN] lol

[09:09:04] [OfteN] what do i need to get this running?

[09:09:14] [OfteN] like if i was just beginning

[09:09:32] (MrX) All you need to do is unpack it and run start.bat

[09:10:08] [OfteN] i did :/

[09:10:13] [OfteN] but.. nothing happened

[09:10:25] »» quits OfteN (i=LiveIRCS@blk-222-160-30.eastlink.ca) (Client Quit )

[09:10:32] »» joins Guest8 (i=LiveIRCS@blk-222-160-30.eastlink.ca) (joined before as OfteN)

[09:10:36] [Guest8] OfteN

[09:10:42] »» nick change [ Guest8 » OfteN ]

[09:10:45] [OfteN] *sigh*

[09:11:12] (MrX) Hmm

[09:11:21] [OfteN] something i might be missing?

[09:11:39] (MrX) No, but you might have something more which is causing it not to work

[09:11:40] (MrX) lol

[09:11:44] [OfteN] OH! it said disk w is busy

[09:11:59] [OfteN] :/

[09:12:02] [OfteN] whats that mean?

[09:12:05] (MrX) Could you go to My Computers and check if you have a W Drive?

[09:12:12] [OfteN] i did

[09:12:15] (MrX) Ok

[09:12:22] [OfteN] and i dont

[09:12:58] (MrX) which version of Uniform Server are you running?

[09:13:00] (MrX) 3.2a?

[09:13:07] [OfteN] yea

[09:13:45] (MrX) Try to start a command prompt in the folder where you have Uniform Server installed

[09:13:54] [OfteN] how?

[09:13:57] (MrX) and type: start.bat y

[09:14:18] [OfteN] ok so what?

[09:14:41] (MrX) That'll make it use another disk instead of w

[09:15:03] [OfteN] yea but how do i do it in leimens terms

[09:15:04] [OfteN]

[09:15:12] (MrX) :|

...and thus decided to give OfteN a piece of his mind...

[09:15:28] (MrX) Why do you want Uniform Server?

[09:15:42] [OfteN] to host my FTP files

[09:15:49] (MrX) Only that?

[09:15:56] [OfteN] yea

[09:16:06] [OfteN] im not sure what else i can use it for

[09:16:12] (MrX) Then you won't need it

[09:16:25] [OfteN] huh?

[09:17:01] (MrX) Uniform Server has much more you won't need

[09:17:03] [OfteN] what is it normally used for

[09:17:07] (MrX) Let me get you something simpler

[09:17:12] [OfteN] okay

[09:17:33] (MrX) It's used for the development of PHP, mySQL and CGI web applications

...which caused the eyes of OfteN to be open, and he now knew that he did not need Uniform Server...

[09:17:48] [OfteN] oh

[09:17:51] [OfteN] crazy

[09:17:54] (MrX)

[09:17:56] [OfteN] not what i need

[09:18:10] [OfteN] i just need to host my FTP files to the web so i dont have to make users login

...MrX still wanting to help, foolishly offered OfteN a 3rd party alternative:

[09:18:43] (MrX) http://www.analogx.com/contents/download/network/sswww.htm

[09:19:34] [OfteN] where do i download it

[09:19:47] [OfteN] ahha nvm

[09:19:50] [OfteN] im just stupi

[09:19:51] [OfteN] lol

[09:20:56] [OfteN] ok i installed it

[09:21:39] (MrX) Click on the Button between About and Stop

[09:21:46] [OfteN] now uh im kinda confused

[09:21:53] [OfteN] yea i did

[09:21:58] [OfteN] but what am i supposed to load

 

The alternative had problems that MrX had not noticed before...

[09:22:16] * MrX sighs.. yea, forgot about that

[09:22:22] (MrX) It wants an index page

[09:22:41] [OfteN] :/

[09:22:46] [OfteN] crap..

[09:22:50] [OfteN] lol

[09:22:56] [OfteN] uhm

[09:22:59] [OfteN] what could i use?

[09:23:30] (MrX) You'll need one with all the names of the files you have on your FTP

[09:23:46] [OfteN] :|

[09:23:53] [OfteN] ah crap..

[09:23:59] [OfteN] how am i supposed to do that?

[09:24:36] (MrX) Why can't you juse allow anonymous logins in your FTP?

[09:25:03] (MrX) just*

[09:25:24] [OfteN] well because i want to link to file on my website

[09:25:32] [OfteN] and i cant if their in a FTP server

[09:25:41] [OfteN] so i need it to be hosted to the web

[09:25:58] (MrX) Can you just use ftp:// ?

[09:26:09] [OfteN] you have to login

[09:26:13] [OfteN] plus it looks really newb

[09:26:56] (MrX) Ok

[09:27:00] [OfteN] lol

...and this brought in another 3rd party program:

[09:27:36] (MrX) Get http://www.pc-tools.net/win32/dir2html/

[09:27:58] (MrX) That should generate a HTML file with all the files in your FTP Folder

[09:28:11] [OfteN] ah

[09:28:12] [OfteN] cool

[09:28:29] (MrX) Just remember to select "Recursive" in Directory Depth

[09:28:47] [OfteN] reversive?

[09:28:57] [OfteN] reverse?

[09:28:59] (MrX) "Recursive"

[09:29:22] (MrX) That means to generate a directory list for all subfolders in your FTP Server main folder

[09:29:34] [OfteN] ah

[MrX]

The program gave even more problems...

[09:29:43] [OfteN] so i seleced the directorie

[09:29:51] [OfteN] Y*

[09:30:06] [OfteN] make links. prefix?

[09:30:41] [OfteN] or link only directorys

[09:30:59] (MrX) Make Links. Prefix

[09:31:07] (MrX) Don't check Link only directorys

[09:31:28] [OfteN] and what do i put in teh little bar below it

[09:31:58] (MrX) :s

[09:32:10] (MrX) Don't check Make Links. Prefix too

[09:32:17] [OfteN] oh and do i check "Read

...which seemed to have been solved...

[09:39:38] [OfteN] it says its running now

[09:39:41] [OfteN] how do i check?

[09:40:07] (MrX) Directly above the place where you loaded it

[09:40:11] (MrX) Do you see a URL?

[09:40:13] (MrX) there

[09:40:24] (MrX) http:// and then some numbers

[09:40:42] [OfteN] Http://24.222.160.30

[09:40:46] (MrX) Ok good

[09:40:52] [OfteN] http://24.222.160.30/

[09:40:53] (MrX) Open that in your web browser

[09:40:55] [OfteN] yea that

[09:41:09] [OfteN] and put it as a url?

[09:41:11] (MrX) Yes

...but actually wasn't...

[09:41:26] (MrX) Does it show a page with a lists of files in your FTP?

[09:41:52] [OfteN] it shows teh directories

[09:41:58] [OfteN] not the files in em

[09:42:08] (MrX) :|

[09:42:22] [OfteN] yeah.. confusing

[09:43:40] [OfteN] how can i list the files in the directorys

[09:44:35] (MrX) I don't know

[09:44:43] [OfteN] :/

[09:44:45] [OfteN] crap

[09:45:38] (MrX) Open the Program and leave everything as default, but uncheck Link only directories

[09:46:15] [OfteN] it was unchecked the first time

[09:48:26] (MrX) Wait

...which caused MrX to dump it...

[09:48:29] (MrX) I may have another method

[09:48:42] [OfteN] lol

[09:50:07] [OfteN] oh and when it lists them

[09:50:12] [OfteN] it just lists them

[09:50:20] [OfteN] you cant download or anythig

[09:50:22] [OfteN] ing8

[09:50:56] (MrX) Ok

[09:50:59] (MrX) Wait

[09:54:03] [OfteN] :/

[09:57:34] [OfteN] any ideas?

[09:57:37] (MrX) Yes

[09:57:39] (MrX) Testing them

[09:57:44] [OfteN] lol ok

...and introduce one final 3rd party program:

[10:00:55] (MrX) http://lingcog.iit.edu/~scubed/server.zip

[10:00:55] (MrX) Get that

[10:00:57] (MrX) Unzip

[10:01:25] (MrX) run server.exe, pick your FTPd directory and then check Dir enabled

[10:01:58] [OfteN] dont

[10:02:00] [OfteN] done*

[10:02:03] (MrX) Visit http://24.222.160.30/

[10:02:22] (MrX) You should see your files

 

The user was happy...

[10:02:31] [OfteN]

[10:02:34] [OfteN] i love you!

[10:02:35] [OfteN]

[10:03:45] [OfteN] haha so now i can link to my files?

[10:04:20] [OfteN] thank you so VERY very much

[10:04:29] (MrX) Np

...and left...

[10:05:08] [OfteN] ah man THANKS

[10:05:13] [OfteN] cya later

[10:05:15] »» quits OfteN (i=LiveIRCS@blk-222-160-30.eastlink.ca) ( )

...without learning about DynDNS!!

---

MAY THE FLAMING BEGIN

[olajideolaolorun]

Thats not the way to go.. you are suppose to draw more users, even if they only need the FTP, not put them on another product, unless it ours lol.